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Regina Berry

xxmyfearsmylies in allthatrubbish


Title: Desperate Times
Fandom: Phoenix Wright
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 855
Summary: April's desperate for money. As a poor street prostitute, she's starting to believe maybe women want her services, too... until she meets this piece of work.
Author's Notes: AUUUUFGHGIOGefhHFIUHFAI. People were talking about extremely crack pairs at gyakuten_saiban and it inspired 4804820482 crack pairs in my mind. There will probably be MOAR PW crack from me soon. Just... wait and see.

Smoke clouded up the damp, infested alleyway between the corner store and the galleria mall. The grey, gloomy walls, defaced by dripping graffiti, brought out the violent contrast between April's shockingly pink feather boa and her background.

Her hair, though also pink, was a worn out, tired sort of pink that matched her exhausted face. Her eyes were droopy; her lips, coated very thoroughly with a stand out shade of rouge, slumping at the corners. Her rubbery, black clothing covered only what was vital, exposing her slightly flabby legs and bony midriff. Her boots were dirtied and her right boot heel was a half an inch lower than the other, so she hobbled over to lean on the alley wall for comfort.

She took a long drag from her cigarette and scowled at small kids passing by, being shielded by their overprotective mothers. As other groups of shopping bag-laden women passed by the entrance of the alley, she frequently heard the words "prostitute" and "whore" being muttered under their breaths. "To hell with them all," April whispered to herself. What else could your profession be if you wanted to keep a low profile after escaping from jail?

At first, she made enough money for the (admittedly cheap) becoming outfit, a stash of food and cigarettes, and a sleeping bag for her little "home" in the alleyway. But now, men were not so easily persuaded. Maybe it was the women who needed her service. Maybe April was just desperate.

When she saw a bouncy blonde girl frivolously humming to herself as she flounced down the sidewalk outside of the alley, she admitted to herself that she was, indeed, desperate.

Perhaps too desperate.

April put out her cigarette and squished the butt on the ground with her foot. She sauntered up to the innocent looking, sparkle-radiating flaxen haired damsel and began to sell.

She started by hacking and wheezing her brains out, causing the passerby to turn her head and look at the playacting street walker.

Just as April predicted, the girl fully turned her body to watch her cough and spoke up. "Um, hey, are you okay?"

Perfect, April thought deviously, trying not to simper. She ceased her fake coughing temporarily and looked up at the lanky, seemingly shimmering, worried girl.

"Ohhh, I feel as though I'm getting worse..." April mumbled, approaching the girl slowly but surely. "Getting so weak." She moaned and to her surprise, her potential customer walked up to her and tried to look at her eyes. She was making this easy for April.

"You look... very..."

"Lonely?" April asked, sort of finishing her sentence as she picked up her arms to wrap them around the girl's neck. "Have you ever felt this lonely?"

To her surprise, the girl giggled. It was such a bubbly, innocent giggle, that April felt... like a low life. "Hee, hee! What do you want me to buy, you salesman? A phone? I was just going to get some crackers and milk at the store, and I already have a phone... so I don't need one."

What a dumbass, April thought angrily. She nuzzled the modest female's neck and tightened her grip around her neck. "I sell you nothing you don't need... I only sell you everything you could ever want."

"You're funny," the girl said again with another titter. "But I'm hungry, and-"

You have to be kidding me, she can't be that dumb, April thought bitterly. Even so, she pushed on. "Let me help you satisfy that hunger." She growled seductively and bent her knee and raised it so it touched the clueless girl's thigh in an alluring way.

"Hee, Only food can make me un-hungry!" She grinned goofily, trying to ignore April's hold on her.

"Oh, there are other things... let me show you..."

April traced her fingers down her reluctant customer's spine and rubbed her knee up and down her leg. At this point, the girl let out a super-high pitched giggle and wiggled free from April's grip.

"That tickles! I am really ticklish!" April opened her mouth to make another flirtatious comment, but the girl continued on. "Well, it's nice meeting you, whoever you are. Oh, and my name's Regina! What's yours?"

"April," the angered street walker replied through gritted teeth.

Regina looked horribly puzzled. "Uhm, sure, but, I asked your name, not your the month your birthday's in. Uh, well... I have to get my crackers now, bye!"

She gave a little wave, smiled broadly, and kicked her feet up as she pranced out of the alleyway and out of April's control. Damned waste of time, April thought with a scowl, stomping over to her sleeping bag and rummaging inside of it. She pulled out a pack of Marbolos and her lip twitched as she looked inside and saw the empty bottom of the pack. Waste of time and a cigarette, April thought sourly.

April threw the empty container in the dumpster stationed by her sleeping bag and sulked by sitting down and leaning on the alleyway wall.

Desperate times called for desperate measures. Except this desperate time was wasted on an air headed girl with no sense of reality.

She was probably a deranged circus girl with no parents, anyway.


Interaction between characters who'd never meet in-game in a million years, intriguing scenario, grimness and hilarity in equal measure -- now THIS is what crackpairings are all about! XD
Wow. Talk about a crack pairing! XD Aww, Regina's so... oblivious.

That last line killed me.
Oh the last line just sealed this as being so amazing. You're wonderful. XD
This is amazing x 1000.

BRILLIANT. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought April would be a streetwalker after she got out of jail. XDDDD

October 2008

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